Why Do We Feel Disconnected?
The social disconnection we’re living in today is probably one of the most critical factors behind the challenges we face in romantic relationships. We’re so absorbed in our phones, the internet, and social media that we’ve practically forgotten how to connect one-on-one with other human beings. That’s why reconnecting with ourselves is essential if we want to feel loved.
In an era where you can order food, work out, and even meet a partner without leaving home, real interaction has become minimal, and our skills for building genuine connections have decreased dramatically.
Just think about dating apps. With a single click, you can meet countless people and talk to men you never even knew existed. While this brings variety and new possibilities, the truth is we no longer put any effort into nurturing the very thing that makes relationships… human.
We retouch our photos, write idealized profiles, and throw ourselves into the search for real love from a completely fabricated place. All because we’re terrified of being seen, exposed, and vulnerable… with all the pain and insecurities we carry inside.
And no, this is not a critique of dating apps. Used well, they can absolutely expand our world and help us meet a broader range of people. That’s a real benefit.
How Does This Disconnection Affect Your Ability to Relate in a Healthy Way?
When we’re wrapped up in technology and social media, we slip into a state of complete disconnection… from ourselves and from the world.
It’s much easier to spend the afternoon on Facebook or Netflix than to go out, meet new people, and show up as a real human being. Because that feels risky.
What if they don’t like me?
What if I don’t fit in?
So instead, we stay home watching our favorite series and daydreaming about the perfect relationship.
When we feel tired, sad, or overwhelmed, all it takes is opening Instagram to forget everything, and we lose hours comparing ourselves to people who seem to live “perfect” lives.
This lack of social interaction has very obvious consequences for relationships, but it’s especially harmful for women who are choosing a partner.
From this disconnected place, any kind of attention feels rewarding. So when we meet someone new and he makes us feel even a little “special” (even if it’s strictly on his terms), we become needy; hungry for that tiny crumb of attention, affection, or connection.
The Emotional Risk
This is a very dangerous place from which to choose a partner.
From here, we settle.
We choose poorly.
We ignore our boundaries just to keep someone in our lives.
And worse, even knowing, deep down, that this is not the love we want and that we deserve so much more, we cling to the relationship. We convince ourselves we can’t live without him because he’s the only one who, in his limited way, makes us feel “special.”
This is settling for less. Sometimes, for far less than that.
Men who only call when they want sex — “at least he calls sometimes.”
Men who you can’t trust — “but the relationship has potential.”
Men who don’t step up to their energy — “he’s just wounded, I’m helping him heal.”
And the thousands of justifications we create to avoid facing the truth:
We’re women craving love and connection, and we’re placing that need in the tiny scraps someone else is willing (or able) to give us.
We lose ourselves and become obsessive instead of creating that love and connection within ourselves, and with the help of the people who do love us and want to show up for us: family, friends, and the people who genuinely care.
Seeking attention isn’t wrong.
It’s a fundamental part of being human.
What’s unhealthy is justifying the unjustifiable just to receive some attention.
What’s the Best Way to Reconnect With Yourself?
By working on your energetic, mental, and emotional expansion.
Find ways to love, forgive, accept, and trust yourself.
Strengthen your relationship with yourself… and also with the people who make you feel seen and loved. Maybe your parents, siblings, or the close friends who truly get you.
Reconnect with them.
Practice vulnerability.
Let yourself open up to the people who already love you.
Remember: romantic relationships aren’t everything.
We also need a support system to feel safe and loved.
Practical Exercise to Reconnect With Yourself
Here’s a simple yet powerful practice you can start today:
Find a quiet place and sit comfortably — on a chair, the couch, the floor—.
If you lie down, avoid doing it when you’re too tired or you might fall asleep.
Take several deep breaths following this pattern:
- Inhale for 4 counts
- Hold for 2 counts
- Exhale for 6 counts
Count mentally during each step. This calms the mind and prevents it from wandering.
Repeat as many times as needed until you feel relaxed and present.
When you reach a state of alert relaxation, gently ask yourself:
Why do I love myself?
Sometimes we’re so disconnected that this question feels too painful.
If that happens, start here instead:
Why do I accept myself?
As you continue practicing, you’ll slowly reconnect with the love you already have inside.
If your mind “escapes” and begins telling stories, don’t worry. That’s normal.
Just return to the breath counts.
And when you feel present again, return to your question.
You don’t need to search for an answer.
If one appears, let it go, and ask again.
If you want to understand why I use questions instead of affirmations, you can read my blog post:
Beyond Positive Affirmations: Why Creative Questions Shift Your Energy Faster
How to Use the Exercise
Start with 5 rounds and increase gradually until you can remain in that calm mental silence for 10 minutes.
Repeat the practice as often as you’d like, at least once a day.
And tell me in the comments how you feel and how your life begins to shift now that you know how to reconnect with yourself to feel loved.
Remember:
When you change, everything else changes too. It always works that way.
If you want to share how this practice resonates with you, leave a comment or message me on social media.
Love love,
Itzel
Be Love, Attract Love
